This post is inspired by the writings of Marcia Wieder of Dream University in her book Overcoming Failure in the Dream Movement Series. She talks about these 8 patterns of sabotage:
Sabotage #1: Negative self-talk and self-doubt are useless.
If you recall the three hurdles we talked about earlier in this series, lack of belief was number one, “I don’t believe I can do it.” We identified three was to jump this hurdle: focus on your desires, focus on who you are being and take action. If you are in action toward making your dream come true, there is little room left for self-doubt.
It is important to remember that our thoughts create our reality, so be aware of your thoughts, change them and you will change your reality.
Sabotage #2: Putting your fears into your dream will kill the dream.
This is what Marcia recommends to transform this sabotage pattern: “Any fears we have about our dreams are just part of the present reality. Divide a piece of paper in half. Label the top “My Dream” and the bottom “My Reality”. Honestly describe the dream and assess your reality about the dream. Include in the reality section, all of your fears about the dream. Now you can clearly see where you stand. You can also decide (on a daily basis) if you are more committed to your dream or to your reality, which includes your fears. Zig Ziglar, one of the world’s foremost motivational speakers, uses a wonderful acronym for the word FEAR: ‘False Evidence Appearing Real.’ Take a close look at how you are using your fear and at what’s real and what’s not.”
Sabotage #3: Being vague about the dream will keep you confused.
We’ve talked about this in a previous post as well. It is essential to have clarity about your dream. Write it down, create a vision board, start telling people what your dream is and use their questions and comments as feedback to gain clarity. Communicate it often. Eliminate the qualifiers when you share your dream. For example, don’t say “some day I’m going to be a successful business person.” Do say, “I’m going to be a success business person.” Do you see the difference? One is more self-assured, the other leaves room for doubt.
Sabotage #4: If the dream stays a dream, it will never become a reality.
You must be in action on making your dreams a reality because nothing happens without action. If you have a really big dream, the first step is to ask yourself “how can I make this happen?” Then break that down into projects or goals. Set a date or time limit and start moving one step at a time toward completing that goal.
Sabotage #5: Scheduling unrealistic deadlines will lead to disappointment.
Don’t schedule yourself into overwhelm. I’ve been there and done that. When I feel overwhelmed I usually want to stay in bed and pull the covers over my head; nothing gets done that way. This is what the Get Stuff Done Tool was created for. If don’t already have this tool, sign up in the box with the red arrows on the right hand side of this page and it will be sent to you. We also discussed this in a previous post so you can review it there.
Sabotage #6: Loss of perspective can send you into a tail spin.
Telling yourself that you will never make it, or how bad things are is a sure way to sabotage the dream. This can even make the situation worse than it really is. Or just as bad, we pump ourselves up pretending things are much better than they are. Denial is a waste of your time. Make a visual – create a chart or graph and show how much you’ve already accomplished, then look at how much there is left to do and break that down into smaller projects. Remember, one step at a time leads to success.
Sabotage #7: It’s so much easier to do it myself.
This usually comes either from ego or you are a control freak. We’ve talked about having your dream team, or a success team. They are on your team to help you when you need. You just need to ask them. Also, google whatever information you need and search for free training. I learned so much of what I know and put into practice by watching free video trainings and attending free webinars and teleseminars. If I had trouble putting into practice what I learned, I asked for help.
Sabotage #8: If you kill yourself in the process, you won’t get to enjoy the dream.
Take care of yourself. If make yourself crazy and overwhelmed, if you are stressed, you are wasting energy and putting yourself and your dream at risk. Slow down, see what you need and provide that for yourself. It’s okay to take a break or work less hours and take a bit longer to get things done. After all, you want to be happy and healthy enough to enjoy your dream becoming a reality.
Which one or more of these patterns have you fallen into?