What is Being Asked?

Question to solveI was just checking in with some of the groups I’m involved with on one of the social media sites and left with a take-away that is a great lesson for young entrepreneurs or anyone really.  Briefly, one person asked if anyone had suggestions on what skills to teach young people before they leave home to live on their own.

Immediately, as a life skills professional, I thought of at least 20 things that I could list for her.  Not wanting to repeat what others contributed, I read all of the replies.  My immediate thought was, “huh?”

Interestingly enough, not one of the replies provided what she was asking for.  Each and every person who responded gave her a list of core values that kids should have to be a good person; things like courage, perseverance, integrity, honesty and other such qualities.

“Hmmm,” I thought, I wrote a book about all these things – 31 Powerful Lessons Empowering Teens and Young Adults to Develop An Entrepreneur Mindset, yet, I didn’t get the sense that this is what the poster was asking about.  She said “skills” not values or qualities.  I had to wonder if maybe I had misunderstood what she was asking for because all of these other people were answering the same way.

Then, the poster appeared again and thanked everyone for their thoughtful answers and asked if they could now provide some simple skills like how to do laundry.  That made me laugh because I had been doubting myself and wondering if all these seemingly unrelated answers were what she was looking for.

Only one of the previous posters came back and suggested she teach them how to use a bank.  I posted my reply listing about 20 skills.

So, you are probably wondering what my take away is? It is just that you should be very sure what someone is asking for  before you answer because someone like me, who does understand, will come along behind you and wonder why you didn’t get that question before you provided an unrelated answer.  You then appear as some who is confused, unsure, or disconnected.  If you aren’t sure, ask the poster for clarification.  It’s a good lesson that we often see the world from our point of view, but that isn’t necessarily what someone else is asking for.

I think it comes down to being a good reader in the same way you need to be a good listener.  Take a moment to really read what is being asked and if what you want to say really answers the question or not.  This poster specifically asked about “skills” not values or qualities.  She was looking for answers that included teaching kids to cook, how to search for an apartment and understand a rental agreement, how to buy and care for clothes, how to access health care, and so one.

What would you have provided as an answer to her question?  Do you know the difference between skills and values?  An entrepreneur would certainly know the difference.

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